Are you seeing family for the holidays? Or is family wanting to see you?
The holidays can be a tough time to navigate relationships with family members. On the one hand, it’s nice to see people (especially after the past year and half); on the other hand, it can be extremely stressful having people in your space again (and not just your physical space but your mental space, too).
So, I’m here to remind you that you need to keep (or set) those boundaries over the holiday season. And here’s why:
- It helps build respect in the relationship
Believe it or not, people actually like knowing how you feel, even if it is hard for them to digest at the beginning. They will usually come around and appreciate you being honest with them, you will appreciate them listening to you, thus building respect for each other in that relationship.
- It can build trust in the family
Being honest about what works for you or how you’re feeling can open the door to having more of these conversations. And the more people having them the closer you become. And the closer you become the more you trust each other. But it all starts with honesty.
- It sets the tone for future family gatherings
If you start now, you just have to do maintenance in the future. You set the tone for speaking about what works for you instead of allowing people to walk all over you; which just builds resentment, which we don’t need.
- It increases your confidence in yourself
Being an advocate for yourself and your family can build the confidence you have in yourself. Whether people abide by your boundaries or not is beside the point because what really matters is that you built up the courage to speak up and act in a way that feels best for you. That’s always more important than how other people interpret it.
- It’s good modeling to your children
Your children are watching everything you do…like everything. (And they hear all, trust me!) So when you’re setting and maintaining your boundaries you’re modeling great behaviour about respecting yourself and your relationships. This is a great skill for them to see in action.
And remember, if someone has an issue with your boundaries, the discomfort they are dealing with is about THEM not you.
(If you’re looking for some help with how to set boundaries, I’ve got a whole post about setting postpartum boundaries that you could take a peak at and just adapt the language to fit for the holidays.)
Happy Holidays…and happy boundary setting!
Ashley
photo credit: pexels.com
